As an instructor of business communication, I teach my students about business meetings. We discuss the important role meetings play in companies, from monitoring progress and projects, to sharing ideas, making plans and decisions and more. In class, we also talk about how to behave professionally in a meeting. Many parenting experts suggest family meetings that echo the purposes of business meetings, if not the formality. While meetings may work for some families, for mine, a daily meal was far more effective than formal meetings.
Family dinner is often suggested for the many benefits it gives families. Research has shown that consistent family meals have a series of benefits for children and adults. Shared meals contribute to better family relationships and healthier food choices. In households where shared meals are habitual, children tend to have better grades, higher self-esteem, more resilience, lower risks of substance abuse, depression, anxiety, and obesity. With all of these benefits, the family meeting at mealtime is worth the effort.
Family meals are perfect for:
Checking-in—how is everyone? you get a sense of everyone’s mood and if anyone needs a follow-up later
Sharing—what went well during the day? What challenges are people facing?
Discussing current events—bring up news topics or school events; address issues and ask everyone to share their opinions
Asking questions—find a list of questions online or buy a game that includes family questions; my kids still talk about having to answer the dinner question. Questions can be anything from the funny—what animal would you be? –to the serious—how did you help someone today? asking questions helps emphasize your family’s values
Laughing—sharing funny stories or jokes helps people bond
Try to keep family mealtime about sharing with each other. Avoid planning and scheduling, avoid arguing about chores or homework. This is a time to connect with each other in meaningful ways. Consistent family meals establish a solid routine children can count on; they feel attached to their families and know support is present. Including kids in the preparation or clean-up also develops responsibility. Shared mealtime teaches your kids to navigate social situations, take turns talking, and carry on a conversation—all of which are vital skills in the adult world.
Both meetings and meals are important elements to healthy families and teach children valuable skills, but the meal need not be an evening meal. I know families who share breakfast as their family time and, for one summer, my family had the noon meal together since everyone was working or at sports events later in the day. You could even make family snack time a habit. The most important thing is to consistently spend time together.
For years, I fought with my kids to set the table, sit, eat, talk, clear the table. Now, we have family meals full of conversation and laughter. They help prepare and clean up after meals. Sometimes, my boys are a little rowdy, but I see evidence of the foundations I set during family meals, and I delight in the mealtime sharing.