If you are the parent of a middle or high schooler, you may feel the onslaught of the beginning of school, or the change in seasons and semesters. With each new school year or term, your child likely brings home, or you are inundated with, flyers from every school sport, organization, club and volunteer organization. Even non-school clubs will advertise at school, from religion classes to karate. The sheer number of the opportunities available may make you, if you’re anything like me, want to chuck them all in the garbage (especially if you are still the main transportation for your child), but it is important to help your child evaluate the options and make selections that will allow for balance in your child’s life.
Participating in activities beyond academics is important for students’ growth and development. Involvement in clubs, sports, and organizations can enhance your students’ social skills, problem solving, character development, and communication. However, the opportunities for involvement may seem endless; from athletics to drama, debate, speech, art club, music clubs of which there are many, student government, model UN, robotics, to organizations with social issues focus on racial or gender issues, environmental or political leanings, most schools have options to appeal to just about everyone. Further, schools will often encourage students to create an organization or club if the school doesn’t already have one.
How do you help your child choose which group to be in? I suggest asking your child to narrow down the list of activities they are most interested in. Then, as a family, have a discussion about how busy you want to be. Is your family okay with activities/events every night of the week? On weekends? Or, do you want to preserve a certain amount of family time? Each family will have different plans to work for them. As a family you may need to be flexible to preserve the values that are most important to you. Maybe Wednesday night religion is a non-negotiable in your family, so other events must work around that. Or, maybe you adapt; one summer, my family had family dinner at noon when everyone was home because sports and club events were in the evenings. Having a discussion about how and where your family wants to place your time and resources will help your child understand your family’s values and how their goals and dreams fit into the family.
Once you have an idea of how much your family can manage, ask your child to reflect on how much time each activity will take. A varsity sport, for example, or a drama club putting on a musical will require significantly more time than an intramural sports team. Maybe student government meets during the school day, which may fit better with your family’s goals for when and how to connect. Discuss, with your child, the expectations of each organization and your family’s values and expectations. As a parent, you may need to help your child make difficult decisions about what to be involved in and what to let go. For example, you may allow something like one athletic, one artistic, and one civic involvement. Being involved in a variety of activities will help your child become a well-rounded individual and may guide difficult choices about how to allocate time and resources. You may also need to have discussions about what your child can handle—how much sleep and study time does your child need? What about free time with friends? Sketch out a sample week’s schedule, if you need to, to help your child see how to allocate time.