The Irelands live near Saint Cloud, Minnesota. Kaelin and Paul have been married for 17 years. They have nine children from 15 to 2 years old. They are regularly asked, “are they all yours?” They say “yes, we have nine biological children together”. The Irelands share that having a large family is a lot of fun! There’s always something going on, always someone to talk to, and always someone to play with. Paul shares, “Having a large family is purposeful and meaningful work, because our kids are eternal beings. We love all these people!” The Irelands homeschool their children. Kaelin has been a stay-at-home mom since their first child was born. Paul works from home building enterprise web applications. They share that most days they are all at home and are often together. Did you always know you wanted to have 9 children?Kaelin: While we were dating, I asked Paul how many kids he would like to have. To my surprise, he said five! I thought that was really cute, it demonstrated his big heart. Paul: At that time of my life saying five kids was like saying a dozen! Neither of us come from a large family. I have one brother and Kaelin has two younger half brothers. We both liked the idea of our kids having a lot of siblings. Are you planning for more children?Kaelin: Our oldest daughter sure is! She asks me regularly if we can please have another baby. We always say it’s fun to have a baby in the house. We shall see what the Lord has. We believe the Lord is the author of life. My life is an open book for Him. He is the best planner! Are you able to get 1 to 1 time with each of your children?Kaelin: We spend a lot of time together, so those one on one times happen naturally. It might look like talking with one of the teenagers in the kitchen late at night or talking while working on a meal with one of my daughters. As we do projects or run errands, a child who is old enough or interested will join us. We also pray with each of our kids each night before bed. Do you have large gatherings?Kaelin: We enjoy having other families over! It is good for our souls! Paul: We’ve been blessed with a large house and large yard. We have several friends with more kids than us. Gatherings at our house can have over 30 kids! A great thing about big families is that the big kids all love the little kids and watch out for them. We even see teenage boys ask to hold the baby! We adults like to sit around the table and talk while the kids run off in every direction and play. If someone gets a scrape or there’s some conflict, the other kids will help them find their way to the parents. What would you consider a large family?Paul: We felt like a big family with four and five kids! Four and five is when it gets more complex; before that, Mom can do everything. With that many kids we had to work more as a team, involving the kids in chores, and figuring out how to do things at scale. Six kids is when we really felt large. That’s when we couldn’t fit reasonably in a minivan and bought a 15 passenger van. When you are connecting with other larger families with as many children, what are the things you relate to that smaller families may not understand?Kaelin: Having a big family is like driving a large ship. We make plans and plod steadily toward them. We have to accommodate a lot of interruptions and slowness. Other large families get that. A large ship is slow but it is also heavy. It comes with a lot of work and responsibility. Everyone has to contribute. Other large families get that too and we give each other extra grace in our friendships. What have you learned from your growing family, any new lessons with the 9th child?Kaelin: In the last year especially I have been learning to reject self-condemnation. For many years I would find myself feeling bad about what I did or didn’t do as a Mom, decisions I made for our kids, and things I wish I could have a do-over on. Mom-guilt was tearing down my health. One morning Paul encouraged me with Galatians 2:20: “I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” That familiar Bible verse hit me afresh. Now when I catch myself being tempted to beat myself up over my imperfections, there is no condemnation for me. I am covered by grace. What is the most important thing you want your children to take with them into the world?Kaelin: I want them to be firm in their identity in Christ and to know that they are always loved and accepted. I want them to walk into the world with confidence and humility. What advice would you give to families that are having many children?Paul: The number one thing is to focus on your marriage. On the plane they say to first put on your own oxygen mask before you assist others. Marriage is the lifeblood of the family; the love between a husband and wife carries the family. Billy Graham said that love is spelled T-I-M-E. A strong marriage requires lots of communication and togetherness. We talk about everything! We discuss pretty much all purchases and all plans. We spend 1-2 hours at the end of each night talking and enjoying being together. A close second is to be determined. We set this forth in our marriage, we are determined to be steadfast and to stay together. We do that for our kids too, we’re determined to keep our family together even when it’s going tough. Kaelin: For me it was to find a way that Mom can
