Crystal and Alan

Tell us about your family.

Crystal: My husband, Alan, and I have been married for 18-and-a-half years. We have three children: Aiden (12), Elise (11), and Sanders (8). We also have a 13-year-old Vizsla dog, Bailey.

How did the two of you meet?

Crystal: Alan and I met at the University of Wisconsin – River Falls spring semester of my senior year. We were neighbors and had some mutual friends. We married two years later.

What does your family do for fun?

Alan: We spend a lot of time at our kid’s events but do enjoy taking vacations together. We enjoy game nights, ball games and time with friends. 

Crystal: We enjoy reading joke books at the dinner table, subscribing to a monthly snack box featuring a different country each month, spending time together at the lake in the summer, and celebrating holidays like the Fourth of July.

Do you have any family traditions?

Alan: For a lot of years, we’ve taken family vacations to state parks. Over the holidays, we spend a lot of time together as a family doing things like going to a Christmas tree farm, playing games, and watching movies.

Crystal: Most summers we go on a weeklong family vacation. We had an amazing trip to the Black Hills in 2023.

Did you always know you wanted to be a parent?

Alan: Yes. I wasn’t sure what my future would look like, but that was one part I knew for certain. 

Crystal: Yes. Growing up I was very close with and looked up to my grandma and grandpa. Together they modeled a deep love and joy for family and close friends, and I knew that I wanted to create the same experience. I also knew that, if possible, I preferred not to be a particularly young mom and am thankful that Alan and I were able to enjoy several years of marriage before having children.

I had four pregnancies in five years; three kids in four years. I would have loved to have four kids (on earth) like my grandparents, but God had other plans for us. In my heart, I have four children.

What is your best advice for parents, particularly for a new mom or dad?

Alan: Provide a space at home where your kids feel free to be themselves. Spend time reflecting on what values you want your kids to have when they leave your home. These values should be central to your day-to-day routine, and be ready to demonstrate how you live out these values.

Crystal: Make your individual health and well-being and your marriage your highest priorities. These investments will have the biggest impact on your kids and home environment.

Get in tune with your highest values and make the courageous decisions to prioritize them. You will not be able to do it all, and that’s okay. Commit to an ongoing, unwavering dedication toward improvement, not perfection, by seeking out qualified, trusted resources and support—for yourself, for your marriage, and for your kids. When you know better, you do better.

Keep it up. Parenting is a long-game. Take one day at a time and know that your love is making a difference. You’re doing a great job!

“As parents, it’s easy to forget that we are evolving alongside our children. Be patient with yourself—you’re stepping into a role you’ve never lived before. Growth takes time, and becoming the parent you aspire to be is a journey, not a destination.” – Inside Parenting

What is your best advice for newlyweds?

Alan: Marriage has a steep learning curve in the beginning but does eventually get easier to navigate the longer you are at it. Each stage of marriage continuously provides new lessons. Every time you think you have something figured out, life throws you a change-up. Knowing this, be patient and empathetic with one another.  

Crystal: After you marry, your spouse is your immediate family and, other than faith, is your highest priority. Make growing together a priority. Marriage experiences many seasons, and a deep marriage takes time to build, as well as tremendous effort. Develop the perseverance and endurance necessary to stay the path.

Love is a choice, not a feeling. Discover your spouse’s love language and fill their tank with that love. Set firm boundaries around your marriage and surround yourself with positive people who unconditionally love, accept, support, and encourage the two of you—both as individuals and together as a married couple.

Have fun! Sharing a life together is awesome!

What are ways your family connects with the community?

Crystal: Our family connects with the community by being active in our faith community, volunteering, participating in Annandale’s many wonderful community events, and engaging with several youth sports and activities. 

Alan: We connect with the community through our church and local events. We are grateful to be a part of a town that puts community first and has a lot of people that are willing to give their time and talents to organize and provide gatherings for us to enjoy!

What is your favorite family memory?

Alan: Traveling to the Black Hills, S.D. We spent a week there taking in the scenery, attractions and wildlife. 

Crystal: My favorite family memory is the summer of 2016. I had recently left full-time employment to be at home with our kids and start my own part-time business. I was on maternity leave with our youngest child, and Alan, a teacher, was home for the summer. We spent the entire summer together as a family of five enjoying the simplicity of day-to-day life. It was blissful and one of the happiest times in my life.

How do you balance work and personal life?

Crystal: I have balanced my work and personal life by cultivating a meaningful and (somewhat) flexible career that allows me to meet my personal and family needs. I’ve been self-employed part-time for nine years, which gave me the opportunity to be home with our kids, and two years ago I added to that a part-time position in my field of work. The combination provides choices and a way to grow with my family.

Alan: Early in my career, I did not do this well. However, I have been better at leaving work at work and trying to be more present with Crystal and the kids. I used to bring my work home every night and now it stays on my desk until the next day. 

Share your funniest kid story.

Crystal: I’m not sure if I can narrow it down to just one story, but the moments that most often bring a smile and a chuckle are when thinking back to the toddler and preschool years. Their imaginations at play, their attempts at dressing themselves, their innocent, funny behavior and comments. It was the best!

Alan: There are many, but one that comes to mind is when one of our children decided to use the “bathroom” outside over a tall thistle and managed to come away unscathed!

What have you learned from your family? What is your best advice for other families?

Crystal: Being a wife and mother has deepened my empathy, compassion and patience and reminded me of what’s most important in life. Develop a lasting family bond by being respectful, accepting and inclusive, showing your interest in one another and the important people in your family member’s life, laughing, and creating memories together. Practice communication, forgiveness and mutually repairing relationships.

Alan: Enjoy each stage of life with your spouse and kids. Each stage is wonderful, exhausting at times, but also incredibly rewarding! Don’t forget to unplug and be present, supportive and loving of each other. 

What do you hope for your children? For your family?

Crystal: I pray that my children grow to be healthy, independent adults who live out their life’s purpose. My prayer for our family is that we grow together in love—mutually walking alongside one another communicating, accepting, supporting, forgiving and laughing.

Alan: I hope my children will be happy and healthy knowing they have a solid foundation so they can leave here with confidence in whatever life holds for them. I hope our family feels love and support, regardless of imperfections, that never waivers through the good and the bad.

What is the best advice you’ve received?

Crystal: Go where you’re celebrated.

Alan: Enjoy the time you have with your kids and family; it goes fast.