Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) include abuse, neglect, having someone in the household with substance abuse problems or mental health difficulties, and more. The more ACEs that children experience, the more likely they are to not only struggle with their own mental health, but also with their physical health as adults. For example, adults who experience a high number of negative and traumatic experiences as children are more likely to suffer from depression, suicidality, COPD, diabetes, heart disease, and cancer (CDC, 2022). Negative, stressful experiences that are not currently counted as ACEs, like being bullied, can have similar outcomes.
“Adverse Childhood Experiences are the single greatest unaddressed public health threat facing our nation today.” – Dr. Robert Block, former president of the American Academy of Pediatrics
Unfortunately, over half of Minnesotans report experiencing at least one ACE. So, how do those of us who are parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, teachers, neighbors, and more, help children thrive?
“The most resilient people are like children who never grew up. A curious, playful spirit contributes directly to resiliency, because playfulness and asking questions let you learn your way out of difficult circumstances.” – Al Siebert
Resilient children are those who have the ability to overcome circumstances that place a child at high risk for psychological or physical damage. Note that to be resilient, a child doesn’t have to experience a traumatic event – we can increase resiliency in children who will hopefully never experience adverse events, and who will thrive with the skills they have been taught and the relationships they have developed. But, should they experience some sort of trauma, significant stress, or tragedy, they will be better prepared to process, heal, and continue on.
To help children become resilient, we can try to give them Protective and Compensatory Experiences, or PACEs. PACEs help us increase overall child-wellbeing, and help give those children who do have difficult experiences the resources and coping strategies they need. PACEs are:
1. High quality family relationships. One of the most protective factors contributing to resiliency is having good family relationships. Even children who don’t experience specific ACEs, thrive more when they have good quality relationships. Loving a child unconditionally is hugely powerful. Listening to their perspective, being responsive to their needs, being accepting, and being calm when things are difficult can make an immense difference in how safe and loved children feel.
2. Spending time with a best friend. As children mature, they tend to increasingly value relationships with their friends. Friends often have shared interests, which allow them to participate in activities that are enjoyable to both. Additionally, friends typically are going through the same experiences such as school and puberty, and sharing those experiences can help them learn to listen to each other, and promote empathy.
3. Volunteering or helping others. Volunteering benefits children and teens in ways such as giving them a sense of purpose, increasing self-esteem, and allowing them to explore new opportunities. Finding a local organization to volunteer with can also increase time spent together as a family and can strengthen parent-child relationships!
4. Being active in a social group. Being a part of a group like Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, youth groups, and many more, can have positive impacts on kids’ lives, such as teaching them new skills, helping them build new relationships, and exploring their interests.
5. Having a mentor outside of the family. Mentors, such as teachers, group leaders, or even an older child can give children another trusted relationship and someone who will support and encourage them as they face struggles.
6. Living in a clean, safe home with enough food. When children’s basic needs are met, they can spend more time focusing on other aspects of their lives, such as school, friendships, and hobbies.
7. Having opportunities to learn. It is important for children and teens to continue learning, whether this is in the home or in schools. They get to challenge themselves cognitively and learn to work towards goals, as well as learn how to redirect or regroup when they don’t first succeed. Learning to problem solve in a safe environment helps them handle challenges later!
8. Being physically active. There are limitless possibilities for children to be physically active, such as being involved in organized sports, dance, marching band, or other clubs. It can allow them to meet people they normally wouldn’t, and learn how to listen to their bodies.
9. Having routines and fair rules at home. Consistency helps children and teens feel safe, like there are reliable aspects of their lives that will remain constant. This could include things like having meals together, a consistent bed time, or perhaps a family game night! It’s also not only important to set reasonable boundaries, but to discuss why those rules exist, and ask for their input when it’s reasonable to do so. When caregivers do this, it helps model to children and teens how to create their own boundaries, and they tend to make healthier and wiser choices when caregivers aren’t available to help them.
10. Having a hobby. Hobbies allow children and adolescents to explore aspects of themselves. Hobbies such as fishing, arts, crafts, sports, and reading can be sources of enjoyment, learning, and provide them with many opportunities.
Whether or not children experience adverse childhood experiences, there are many ways that we can promote resiliency in children. Helping children experience PACEs can support them in becoming the happiest, healthiest versions of themselves.
